Nurses face unique challenges daily. From long shifts to high-stakes moments, funny nurse quotes serve as a vital coping tool to lighten the mood. We’ve rounded up 336 inspirational and funny nurse quotes – including sarcastic nurse quotes and those that make you feel proud to be a nurse – to remind these caring heroes they’re never alone (and to make them laugh!).
Nursing is truly a unique profession, a calling that demands immense strength and selflessness. Nurses provide comfort and care through long recovery periods, often navigating mistreatment and underappreciation. Yet, their dedication goes above and beyond, fueled by a deep desire to improve lives, even as they face significant physical and emotional costs and the risk of burnout. Finding moments of levity with relatable funny nurse quotes helps sustain this vital work.
How Funny Nurse Quotes Improve Mental Health
Humor can get us through even the toughest of days, and the reasons why are backed by science. Studies show that laughter reduces stress. Laughing reduces the amount of cortisol, epinephrine, and other hormones your body produces when you feel stressed. It reverses your body’s stress response.
In addition to lowering stress hormones, laughing also produces endorphins and other feel-good chemicals that can improve your mood. While it can’t fix the high levels of emotional exhaustion and fear among nurses, humor and laughing can help them start to cope with their own complex mental and emotional health issues.
The Power of Humor in Nursing
Humor is a big part of a nurse’s daily life. It helps them deal with the stresses and challenges of their job, build rapport with colleagues, and create a positive work environment. Funny nursing quotes and sarcastic nurse quotes remind us of the sense of humor and resilience nurses have. They can find joy and sparkle in even the most miserable situations; that’s how powerful and driven they are.
Imagine a nurse, after a 12-hour shift, sharing a laugh with colleagues over a funny nurse quote like “Nursing: the hardest job you’ll ever love.” These moments of levity are not just about laughter; they are about survival. Humor helps nurses navigate the emotional and physical demands of their job, making the tough days a little bit more bearable.
Here are some of our favorite funny nurse quotes and jokes that are perfect for nurses and nurse-adjacent professionals.
Funny Nursing Quotes About Life
Life as a nurse is anything but ordinary. These funny nursing quotes capture the humor, resilience, and chaotic moments that make every shift unforgettable.
1. “I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas.” —Unknown
2. “You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible.” —Unknown
3. “Every nurse has a best friend, Pam: LorazePAM, DiazePAM, and ClonazePAM…” —Unknown
4. “Nursing: when you’re not sure if it’s Saturday or Tuesday.” —Unknown
5. “How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it’s delegated to the nursing students.” —Unknown
6. “Treat the patient as a whole, not just the hole in the patient.” —Unknown
7. “Save one life, you’re a hero. Save a hundred lives, you’re a nurse.” —Unknown
8. “Hand sanitizer has started to become my new best friend.” —Unknown
9. “How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they’re giving you an enema.” —Warren Beatty
10. “I’ve come to the realization that I’ll touch anything as long as I have gloves on.” —Unknown
11. “The doctors may be mapping out the war games, but it is the nurses who make the conflict bearable.” —Jodi Picoult
12. “You can’t fix crazy, all you can do is document it.” —Anonymous
13. “Why yes I do marathons. It’s called 12.5+ hour nurse shift run 3 times a week. —Anonymous
14. “The nurse that can smile when things go wrong…is probably going off duty.” —Anonymous
15. “You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible.” —Unknown
16. “A nurse’s blood type? Coffee.” —Unknown
17. “Doctors save lives; nurses save doctors.” —Unknown
18. “I’m a nurse because ‘miracle worker’ isn’t an official title. —Unknown
Relatable Funny Nurse Quotes
From 3 AM charting panic to the endless search for a missing pen, these relatable, funny nurse quotes speak to the real struggles and laughs only nurses understand.
1. “No, I will not rub your feet. I am a nurse, not a masseur.” —Unknown
2. “I’m a nurse—nothing scares me.” —Unknown
3. “I like keeping my metabolism on its toes. Like what’s it going to be today – starvation or 6,000 calories? ” —Anonymous
4. “If you walk a mile in a nurses shoes, you’ll walk a whole lot farther than a mile, and your back will kill you at the end.” –Anonymous
5. “Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy…nurses are rarely short on caring.” —Sharon Hudacek
6. “Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse.” —Gary Veale, RN
7. “Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital.” —Anonymous
8. “We often think of nursing as giving meds on time, checking an X-ray to see if the doctor needs to be called, or taking an admission at 2:00 a.m. with a smile on our faces. Too often, we forget all the other things that make our job what it truly is — caring and having a desire to make a difference.” —Erin Pettengill, RN
9. “Don’t let anyone treat you like an expired 24 butterfly gauge. You are a #16 in the left forearm with excellent venous return! —Unknown
10. “Nursing is not for the empty of heart…nor the faint of heart.” —Unknown
11. “Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon.” — Dag Hammarskjöld, Swedish Diplomat and Economist
12. “A nurse is not what you do. It is what you are… I am a nurse. It’s not what I do, it’s what I AM.” —Unknown
13. “Nursing: The toughest job you’ll ever love.” —Unknown
Sarcastic Nurse Quotes
Sometimes, sarcasm is the only way to survive a tough shift. These sarcastic nurse quotes highlight the witty humor nurses use to handle daily challenges.
1. “Being a nurse is weird: I can keep a poker face through trauma, but have a mental breakdown over losing my favorite pen. —Unknown
2. “People who ask me what I’m doing tomorrow probably assume I even know what day of the week it is. —Anonymous
3.” When I heard 2020 was going to be the year of the nurse, this is not what I expected… —Unknown
4. “The 3 words most people want to hear: ‘I love you.’ The 3 words nurses want to hear: ‘Alert, Oriented, and Ambulatory. —Unknown
5. “3 AM: the time when you remember you forgot to chart that thing, bring that lady her water, or pass that med. —Unknown
6. “Don’t piss off nurses. They’re like the mafia. Piss off one and you piss off the rest.” — Unknown
7. “If I collapse at work, here is a list of doctors that I don’t want working on me!” —Unknown
8. “No, RN does not stand for ‘Refreshments and Narcotics.’” —Unknown
9. “You know that feeling when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat? Yeah, that’s arrhythmia. You can die from that.” —Unknown
10. “Just so you know, doctors are here to diagnose, not heal. We heal.” —Edie Falco in Nurse Jackie
11. “Don’t mess with me—I get paid to stab people with sharp objects.” —Unknown
12. “Nursing is not a career … it’s a post-apocalyptic survival skill.” —Unknown
13. “A new nurse gets scared when a doctor yells. An old nurse yells back.” —Anonymous
Funny Nursing Quotes on Friendship
The bonds between nurses run deep, built on teamwork, shared laughs, and unforgettable moments. These funny nursing quotes about friendship celebrate the colleagues who get it.
1. “You know you work in healthcare when you can discuss puke and bowel movements at the lunch table and no one flinches. —Unknown
2. “Yes, I am a nurse. No, I don’t want to look at it.” —Unknown
3. “I’m a nurse. What’s your superpower?” —Unknown
4. “Remember, I’m a nurse. You’re going to have to say a lot to gross me out.” —Unknown
5. “Sometimes I have to remind myself around my non-nurse friends not to talk about bodily functions.” —Unknown
6. “Nursing friendships are a different kind of love; like, ‘I’ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the butt crack’ kind of love!”
7. “Nurse: the first person you see after saying, ‘Hold my beer and watch this!’” —Unknown
8. “May your scrubs be comfy, your coffee be strong, and your Monday be short.” —Unknown
Funny Nursing Jokes
Need a quick laugh to break up a long shift? These funny nursing jokes deliver bite-sized humor that’s just what the doctor ordered.
1. Why did the nurse need a red crayon? To draw blood.
2. What do transplant nurses hate? Rejection.
3. What’s it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses? A midwife crisis.
4. Knock knock. Who’s there? HIPAA. HIPAA who? I can’t tell you that
5. What do you tell a nurse when she administers an injection painlessly? Good jab.
Inspirational & Proud-to-Be-a-Nurse Quotes
Nursing is as rewarding as it is demanding. These inspirational and proud-to-be-a-nurse quotes remind every nurse why their work truly matters.
1. “Caring is the essence of nursing.” —Jean Watson
2. “Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. —Dag Hammarskjöld, Swedish economist and diplomat
3. “A nurse is one who opens the eyes of a newborn and gently closes the eyes of a dying man. It is indeed a high blessing to be the first and last to witness the beginning and end of life.” —Unknown
4. “A nurse is not what you do. It is what you are…. I am a nurse. It’s not what I do, it’s what I am. —Unknown
5. “Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. —Val Saintsbury
6. “America’s nurses are the beating heart of our medical system. —Barack Obama
7. “Nurses are there when the last breath is taken, and nurses are there when the first breath is taken. Although it is more enjoyable to celebrate the birth, it is just as important to comfort in death.” —Christine Belle
8. “Every nurse was drawn to nursing because of a desire to care, to serve, or to help.” —Christina Feist-Heilmeier, RN
9. “The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest.” —Dr. William Osler, Founder of Johns Hopkins University
10. “Nurses are superheroes in scrubs.” —Unknown
11. “Nursing is one of the fine arts: I had almost said ‘the finest of fine arts.’” —Florence Nightingale, Founder of Modern Nursing
12. “You treat a disease: you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you win—no matter the outcome.” —Robin Williams in Patch Adams
13. “When you’re a nurse, you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. —Unknown
14. “Our job as nurses is to cushion the sorrow and celebrate the job, every day, while we are ‘just doing our jobs.’” —Christine Belle
15. “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.” —Mother Teresa
16. “Value what you do and add value by what you do.” —Unknown
17. “Nurses—one of the few blessings of being ill.” —Sara Moss-Wolfe
18. “If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For passion will lead you right into your purpose.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes, evangelist
19. “Sometimes I inspire my patients; more often, they inspire me.” —Unknown
20. “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
21. “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” —Mahatma Gandhi
22. “Nurse: just another word to describe a person strong enough to tolerate anything and soft enough to understand anyone.” —Unknown
23. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle.” —Plato
24. “Be the nurse you would want as a patient.” —Unknown
25. “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this something, at whatever cost, must be attained.” —Marie Curie
26. “Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.” —Charles Dickens
27. “As a nurse we have the opportunity to heal the mind, soul, heart, and body of our patients. They may forget your name, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou
28. “A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope.” —Carrie Latet
29. “Happiness … consists of giving, and in serving others.” —Henry Drummond, evangelist
30. “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” —William Shakespeare
31. “The character of the nurse is as important as the knowledge she possesses.” —Carolyn Jarvis
32. “Nurses are the heart of healthcare.” —Donna Wilk Cardillo, MA, RN, CSP
33. “The definition of a nurse: To go above and beyond the call of duty. The first to work and the last to leave. The heart and soul of caring. who will pass through your life for a minute and impact it for an eternity. An empowered individual whom you may meet for only a 12-hour period, but who will put you and yours above theirs.” —Anonymous
34. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” —Leo Buscaglia
35. “You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I’ll guarantee you’ll win.” —Patch Adams
36. “A nurse is compassion in scrubs.” —Lexie Sage
37. “It’s a beautiful thing when a career and a passion come together.” —Unknown
38. “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” —Winston Churchill
39. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest accomplishment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” —Leo Buscaglia
40. “The nurse is temporarily the consciousness of the unconscious, the love of life of the suicidal, the leg of the amputee, the eyes of the newly blind, a means of locomotion for the newborn, knowledge and confidence for the young mother, a voice for those too weak to speak, and so on.” —Virginia Henderson, RN
41. “When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million words.” —Unknown
42. “To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do, in spite of all we go through…that is what it is to be a nurse.” —Rawsi Williams, RN
43. “A caress, a smile, is full of meaning for one who is sick. It is a simple gesture, but encouraging, he or she feels accompanied, feels closer to being healed, feels like a person, not a number.” —Pope Francis
44. “Nurses are always there, you care for us from the earliest years. You look after us in our happiest and saddest times. And for many, you look after us and our families at the end of our lives. Your dedication and professionalism are awe-inspiring.” —Duchess Kate Middleton
45. “The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway! —Unknown
46. “Sometimes I inspire my patients; more often they inspire me. —Unknown
46. “Nurse: just another word to describe a person strong enough to tolerate anything and soft enough to understand anyone. —Unknown
47: “Nurses: the glue that holds the healthcare system together.” —Unknown
Nursing Student & Graduation Quotes
From “What’s a normal lab value?” panic to the proud moment you hear “Congratulations, Nurse,” this section celebrates the journey. These nursing quotes and funny nursing quotes capture the humor, late-night study sessions, and inspiring milestones that define every nursing student’s path to graduation
1. “Fill your mind with truth. Fill your heart with love. Fill your life with service.” —Vaughn J. Featherstone, American Missionary
2. “Your profession is not what brings home your paycheck. Your profession is what you were put on Earth to do with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.” —Vincent Van Gogh
3. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” —Dr. Seuss
4. “When I think about all the patients and their loved ones I have worked with over the years, I know most of them don’t remember me, nor I them. But I do know that I gave a little piece of myself to each of them, and they to me, and those threads make up the tapestry that is my career in nursing.” —Donna Wilk Cardillo, MA, RN, CSP
5. “Success comes to those who are too busy to look for it.” —Henry David Thoreau
6. “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” —Steve Jobs
7. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” —Maya Angelou
8. “How very little can be done under the spirit of fear.” —Florence Nightingale
9. “So never lose an opportunity of urging a practical beginning, however small, for it is wonderful how often in such matters the mustard-seed germinates and roots itself.” — Florence Nightingale
10. “I think one’s feelings waste themselves in words; they ought all to be distilled into actions which bring results.” —Florence Nightingale
11. “Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.” —Salvador Dali
12. “Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.” —Mahatma Gandhi
13. “I attribute my success to this; I never gave nor took any excuse.” —Florence Nightingale
14. “It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.” —Mother Teresa
15. “Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your presence felt.” —Grace Lichtenstein, Author
16. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”—Unknown
17. “If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.” —Win Borden
18. “Confidence is not ‘they will like me,’ confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t. Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” —T. Harv Eker
19. “Let us never consider ourselves finished nurses….we must be learning all of our lives.” —Florence Nightingale
20. “Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter’s or sculptor’s work.” —Florence Nightingale
21. “The very first requirement in a hospital is that it should do the sick no harm.” —Florence Nightingale
22. “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” —Anthony J. D’Angelo, educator
23. “It’s a beautiful thing when a career and a passion come together.” —Unknown
24. “While that’s correct… it’s not the most correct. This is nursing school.” —Unknown
25. “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” —Art Williams
26. “Nothing will work unless you do.” —Maya Angelou
27. “When you feel like quitting, remember why you started.” —Unknown
28. “I never dreamed about success—I worked for it.” —Estée Lauder
29. “Hardships often prepare people for an extraordinary destiny.” —C.S. Lewis
30. “To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can, in spite of all we go through, is to be a nurse.” —Rawsi Williams, JD, BSN, RN, PhD
31. “When you’re a nurse, you don’t just heal bodies, you heal hearts.” —Unknown
32. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. —Earl Nightingale
33. “Forgive yourself; you are not perfect. Show yourself grace; you are still learning. Show yourself patience; you are on a journey. —Unknown
34. “Although your educational journey may be difficult at times, you will reap the reward of utmost satisfaction when holding your nursing diploma for the first time—and nothing will ever compare to the fulfillment that improving and saving the lives of others will bring! —Mikhail Shneyder, Nightingale College president and CEO
35. “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. —Nelson Mandela
36. “Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. —Chinese proverb
37. “Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. —Elizabeth Kenny, Australian bush nurse
38. “Let us never consider ourselves finished, nurses. We must be learning all of our lives. —Florence Nightingale
39. “Apprehension, uncertainty, waiting, expectation, fear of surprise, do a patient more harm than any exertion. —Florence Nightingale
40. “Nursing school. One syllabus at a time. One class at a time. One exam at a time. One clinical at a time. Keep going… —Unknown
41. “It’s okay to learn from every experience, and it’s okay to make mistakes. —Louise Hay
42.” If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone. —John Maxwell
43. “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” —Earl Shoaf
44. “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. —Benjamin Spock
45. “Forgive yourself, you are not perfect. Show yourself grace; you are still learning. Show yourself patience; you are on a journey. —Unknown
46. “I am among those who think that science has great beauty. —Marie Curie
47. “The most important practical lesson that can be given to nurses is to teach them what to observe. —Florence Nightingale
48. “Nursing is a progressive art such that to stand still is to go backwards. —Florence Nightingale
Find Relief in the Chaos With Funny Nurse Quotes
Within the controlled chaos of hospital corridors and the quiet moments beside a patient’s bed, there’s room for laughter. These funny nurse quotes don’t just offer a chuckle—they reflect a shared experience, a knowing nod between colleagues who’ve been through it all. In a profession where not every story ends well and not every effort is appreciated, humor becomes a form of connection and survival.
From whiteboards scrawled with inside jokes to breakroom banter that brings a moment of relief, funny nurse quotes capture the irony, absurdity, and heart of what it means to be a nurse. They offer perspective, often revealing the strength behind the smile.
Whether used to lighten a long shift or remind a fellow nurse that they’re not alone, funny nurse quotes are part of the culture that helps reduce stress and keep this essential workforce carrying on. They don’t diminish the seriousness of the job—they humanize it. And sometimes, that’s exactly what’s needed.
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FAQs: Funny Nurse Quotes, Sarcasm & Nursing Pride
Why do nurses love funny quotes?
Laughter reduces stress hormones like cortisol, according to Mayo Clinic research. These funny nursing quotes are proven stress relievers that help nurses recharge during challenging shifts.
What’s the most iconic nursing quote of all time?
Among the most iconic nursing quotes, Florence Nightingale’s “Nursing is an art” stands out. Today’s nurses also love modern, sarcastic gems like “I’m not a morning person… unless it’s 3 AM and my patient needs meds.”
Can I share these quotes on social media?
Yes! You can share any of these funny nursing quotes on social media. Use our pre-made quote images and tag @advantis_medical for a chance to be featured.
Why are sarcastic nurse quotes so relatable?
Sarcasm is a common coping mechanism in high-stress professions like nursing. These sarcastic nurse quotes resonate because they mirror real-life humor and the challenges nurses face every day.
How does humor help with burnout?
Laughter triggers endorphins—your body’s natural mood boosters—and lowers stress hormones. Funny nurse quotes can act as quick mental resets during tough shifts or stressful patient situations.
Are these quotes from real nurses?
Most of these nursing quotes are collected from nurse forums, social communities, and direct submissions. Share your favorite with us on social by tagging @advantis_medical.
How can I cheer up a nurse friend?
Share one of our pre-made quote images or send a few of our funniest nurse quotes in a quick text—they’re guaranteed to bring a smile after a tough day.
What are the top 3 funniest nurse quotes from this list?
Our top picks are: “Don’t mess with me—I get paid to stab people with sharp objects,” “Nursing: when you’re not sure if it’s Saturday or Tuesday,” and “You can’t fix crazy, all you can do is document it.”
